revafisheye

Using showtunes for the greater good

One of the best things about living in a city like New York is watching the crazies be crazy; it's voyeurism at it's best.


Standing on the platform of the E train.

Today, I was taking the subway home from an audition at Columbia, and I was so happy I opted not to walk. I boarded the 1 train at 110th Street and Broadway, eating the apple I just bought at a street-side stand. The train was pretty crowded; I stood in the center of the car, holding onto a pole. At 96th Street, the car nearly emptied, so I took a seat.

Among the new passengers was a man wearing a white tux shirt, black pants, a purple sequined vest and silver sequened top hat. He also carried a silver wand with a star on the end and wore a plain piece of cardboard tied with twine around his neck. I slipped my sunglasses down from the top of my head to cover my eyes; I wanted to watch him, but I didn't want to look like I was watching.

As the train began moving, he broke into song, dancing around the car and waving his wand:

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle Dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate.
Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?

What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting?

At this point, he turned his sign around to reveal a collage of unflattering pictures of George W. Bush accompanied by headlines and news articles.

Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll never catch wise!

Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em.
Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous
Row after row will crow vociferous

Give 'em the old flim flam flummox
Fool and fracture 'em
How can they hear the truth above the roar?

Throw 'em a fake and a finagle
They'll never know you're just a bagel,
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll beg you for more!

Give 'em the old double whammy
Daze and dizzy 'em
Back since the days of old Methuselah
Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler.

Give 'em the old three ring circus,
Stun and stagger 'em.
When you're in trouble, go into your dance.

Though you are stiffer than a girder
They'll let you get away with murder.

Here, he approached the couple sitting to my right and gave a little wave of his wand around their heads.

Razzle dazzle 'em
And you've got a romance.

Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em.
Show 'em the first rate sorceror you are.
Long as you keep 'em way off balance,
How can they spot you've got no talent?

Razzle Dazzle 'em
And they'll make you a star!

He sang the whole song, taunting the college-aged couple next to me, giving little booty shakes to anyone who dared make eye contact. I could barely control my giggles, but I had to admit, he was right on the money with the parallel.

Thank you crazy sequined man for sharing the insight. Kander and dear departed Ebb sure knew/know people. And as we all know, great [musical] theater is timeless and relevant.

posted by revafisheye @ 7:14 PM